The first thing that came to mind when I saw the SyFy logo, was "oh great", because usually SyFy make these really, really bad monstrous creature movies. But still, I gave it a watch because their movies are usually so bad that they are fun to watch.
As for the story in "Jersey Shore Shark Attack", well it is as with much other shark movies. Mankind is drilling in the ocean floor, and that stirs up a school of killer sharks, and the waters become unsafe to go into.
The storyline was very thin and seen countless times before in other movies, but still, it was fun to watch because the sharks looked so cheesy, the characters in the movie didn't share the IQ of a birch tree combined, and the effects were just laughable.
The characters in this movie was so epically lame, that it was just unbelievable. Combined amongst these steroid pumped young men and women, I think the IQ was still lower than that of a birch tree. The way they behaved, talked and what they did, it was just so over the top, and no one in their right mind would do such things, much less behave that way. Someone in the movie said, and I quote, "omg, look at that" - seriously, who talks like that? Now, I am not saying that the acting was bad, it was just questionable, and people did what they could with these super bad characters and dialogue that the had to work with. And what was up with the names of these characters? They were just downright stupid; TC, BJ, Nooki, J-Moni and Balzac. And the way those steroid muscle-men were walking, they looked like constipated dolls sitting on Popsicle sticks.
Joey Fatone is in the movie, still cashing in on the former Nsync celebrity status. Well, aside from that, then he gets eaten by a shark that just comes out of nowhere, jumps out, swallows him with a massive splatter of blood, and then apparently goes back into the water. That scene, despite being hilarious, was just so bad. How did that shark even get there?
Amazing with fireworks nowadays, apparently the firecrackers these people had packed such a sonic blast that it was able to knock a grown woman off the rocks and into the water. That scene was just so stupid. Not to mention the roman candle shooting underwater. What? And lets not leave out the unforgettable scene with the fireworks in the boat and the following explosion. It just has to be seen to actually be believed.
And you just got to love those adventurous, bold sharks that manage to get to water so shallow that it only reaches up to the middle of the lower calves of a grown man, and still manage to snatch itself a meal, despite the shark being way to big to even swim there. Or those wonderful moments when sharks start attacking the pillars that support and hold up the seaside boardwalk, because we all know that it happens every day in Jersey.
When the shark kept bobbing up out of the water at the side of the boat, it just looked like something out of a "whack-a-mole" game. It was so hilarious. And to make it even better, it was the worst CGI shark in the history of movies. Epic. Just epic!
Despite all these flaws and faults, then "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" was actually fun entertainment. Why? Well because it was so over the top cheesy and bad, and I sincerely hope that the movie was making fun of itself and the shark genre.
Not to mention that the Jersey police don't even have their weapon securely locked away, as TC could just walk in there and take whatever he wanted. No security, no locks, no weapons locker, no nothing. It was just hilarious.
Will you ever go in the water again?
